Achieving emotional release through love: The liberating elixir of life

On Friday 13^th June 2014, residents at SHAFA HOME Delhi had their fourth session with Mr. Shree Kumar, experienced life-coach, renowned motivational speaker and master of EFTT. Today’s session was all about 'finding personal freedom through love'. Like last week, the session took on a discursive format then transitioned to practical work. Today we considered love and its impact upon the individual. Love means different things to different people, for some these four letters evoke severe emotional disturbance, re-opening old wounds allowing unpleasant memories of the past to flood in…But enough of this negativity we think!!

It’s time to close that chapter of our lives and re-view love as a transformational force that begets mental and emotional liberation. Ever heard the saying “love can set you free?” Mr. Shree certainly has and wants us to see that too! Love, when harnessed and channeled in a proper and effective manner can be the force that breaks the vice-like chokehold our irrational and negative self-talk has on us; once and for all.  

 In our active substance use, our perception of what love was had become deeply skewed. We didn’t know what meaningful love was anymore. This is one, clear hard fact Mr. Shree did not have to tell us, we knew it for ourselves from past experience. Was it people? Was it possessions? Was it obsession?  Over time, our definition of love had become progressively cheap, superficial and one-dimensional. We threw the world “love” about like kids throw cricket balls. In active using, love was something exclusively interrelated with our hedonistic, self-seeking lifestyle; we loved the physical effect of our drug of choice, we loved people who gratified us physically, we loved money, we loved substance-enabling situations. Honestly speaking, love resided in the pursuit and consumption of our addiction.

 Based on resident’s experiences and Mr. Shree’s expertise, the fact of the matter we had muddied the pure and beautiful attributions of love. Love in our minds was basic, crude and self-gratifying. This session invited us to go beyond physical dimensions of thinking; today we embarked on thinking on a spiritual level. When Mr. Shree made his signature serene entrance into the ‘asha grah’ hall. Many of our residents felt initially cynical that they would be investigating “love-shuv” nonsense…Amongst the smirks and rolls of eyes it seemed to be that many feared to enter its territory. Rest assured, Mr. Shree’s cool, calm grace put our whirling minds at rest. He started is session in his signatory way:  relating from personal experience. He explained that when he was younger he had also faced a lot of emotionally scarring events. He nearly traded his hope for permanent misery, but one pertinent and powerful thing stopped him dead in his tracks. Our wide-eyed residents wanted to know what his magic was!

This is when we learnt our first key lesson of the session: Shree Ji kept his heart and mind open to miracles. God’s benevolence and mercy sends these miracles to save us! Despite life mercilessly battering him with misfortune, he kept his mind positively tuned to receive insight and knowledge to sail through his troublesome times. Against all odds Mr. Shree survived his bleaker moments to become the respected success he is today! How did he do it? By practicing meditation and staying receptive to higher knowledge, keeping faith in better times to come! Meditation allows an individual to still his racing mind in order become spiritually receptive to knowledge from higher realms. Meditation is looking for God within ourselves. God and love are synonymous concepts. World-over God is the supreme and everlasting source of love. Within every single human being is His divine spark, so in this way we are all mirrors of each other wherein God’s beauty and magnificence radiates all around us. When we can learn to open our eyes to the world around us, then we are able to listen to our intuition to find new ways of thinking and behaving. 

 Love is when we endeavor to see God outside of ourselves. In our fellows, in weather, in nature…God permeates and resides in everything. When we are appreciating and respecting His creation in a noble and dignified way, this is true, mature and sincere love. Loving is the highest and most creative form of energy. Love can make a person more caring, compassionate and empathetic towards others. When people are better able to understand their peers, then they can help others and simultaneously become willing to receive help from others. We all need assistance to move forward in life. Once we break down our self-defense barriers and allow help to pour in, then we can emotionally and mentally grow into the people we yearn to be! Strong, positive, cheerful and peaceful. Those qualities we thought we would never be able to emanate and achieve actually come to exist within us. Seriously!!  

Mr. Shree also told us that within love lies forgiveness. When an individual starts loving, they start releasing themselves from their self-imposed incarceration by being kind and merciful with their inner-self. Since addicts spend unnecessary lengthy amounts of time carrying an immense amount of guilt upon their shoulders, we felt it would be incredibly beneficial if we could learn how to heal ourselves of this problem – As the session progressed into the EFTT practice, one of our courageous residents volunteered himself to work alongside Mr. Shree at the front of the group.

Today residents went beyond physical healing and attempted to use EFTT to heal psychological problems. Through an NLP practice called “re-framing” he was encouraged to view that particular moment in his life which evoked his intense shame and guilt, as if it was being projected on an auditorium screen and he was a spectator. Then he was to imagine he had a smaller double of himself whom he was relaying love and forgiveness to. The second part of this exercise involved EFTT. A unique set-up statement dedicated to the day’s topic was repeated for 5 cycles with full gusto by all participants. Avinash was amazed to see that his prior guilt rating of 8 had diminished to 3. Not only had the session been a great success for him, it had also been a worthwhile investment of time for the rest of our residents, judging by the warm hugs and genuine appreciations flying round the hall! - “Love truly makes man a better and kinder human being”.   

 All-in-all, this session was a fantastic blend of both cognitive analysis and spiritual thinking, our participants were challenged to break with their old and rigid notions. Burying old hatchets and embracing our brothers and sisters is the ultimate. If understood properly, love can become a super-powerful adhesive, able to re-attach all the fragmented and splintered pieces of our self-esteem and confidence; remodeling us into new individuals. No matter how many times we may have fallen over in the past, it is never to late to pick ourselves up and move on! Our ongoing thanks go to Mr. Shree Kumar for his time, effort and dedication with our residents at SHAFA HOME. 

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How busting your groove beats the recovery blues !

On Wednesday 11^th June 2014, residents at SHAFA HOME Delhi were gifted with their sixth meeting with the fantastically charismatic Ms. Maheshwari Jani, experienced behaviour analyst and master of neuro-linguistic programming. In this session, our residents investigated why dance is a crucial part of therapy. This age-old art form physically expressing the freedom of the soul not only reveals our innermost emotions, creativity and coordination, it also releases stress by channelling coarse negative emotions into a harmonious rapture of bodily symphony. Nobody needs to be the next Hrithik Roshan or Kareena Kapoor to take part in and enjoy the energetic and furious fun of dancing! All it requires is genuinely willing heart and a sprinkling of imagination...then anyone can well and truly become ‘footloose’!

Resident’s know to leave their inhibitions at the door every time the vivacious Ms. Jani enters the house; it’s high time for smiles, surprises and a riotous blast of shout-out-loud excitement! This session would demonstrate just that! Today residents were coaxed to leave their comfort zone and embrace a new and fresh image of themselves as happy, confident and expressive folk. Many of our residents are dealing with low-self confidence and suffer from shyness and negative self-image. So, the resounding consensus of both staff and residents was that a session on self-expression would be a fantastic addition to their ongoing portfolio of knowledge.

Rest assured, Maheshwari Ji’s plan for the day would soon shake off our resident’s blues. They formed groups of three and were instructed to show each other their ‘groove’. This was the preliminary activity that was designed to melt the ice and facilitate the residents to feel comfortable in each other's presence. Then all embarked on a brief dance warm-up to vitalize and energize themselves and then launched into the morning’s educational frolics. For the next two hours we would break from our sedentary routine. This wasn't going to be like any ordinary session, we all knew we were going to be up and bounding about in no time!

Resident’s then had to imagine themselves as human paintbrushes...The ‘painting’ exercise required us to move our arms and legs artistically coordinating our limbs. A few minutes into the exercise, it was noticeably evident to see that the initially hesitant residents were now slowly breaking through their inhibitions. Did it matter what others were thinking? A lot of our residents were slithering on the floor like snakes, but were smiling and giggling! It was beautiful and heartwarming to see them getting in touch with their inner, innocently happy-selves that they had neglected for an incredibly long time while in active addiction. This exercise had an underlying message applicable to life: We should not be moved by other's judgments, nor should we try to copy anyone else; since in doing so, we lose our own unique charm. Only we truly know of our capabilities, strengths and working points. We are entitled to feel joy, not be bogged down by other's negativity! The truest trend-setter on life’s dance floor is the fearless and optimistic individual. 

Next, residents played “pass the basketball”...standing in a circle, residents used their imagination and creativity to generate sequence of steps before calling out another resident’s name and bouncing the ball to them. This tested how well they could perform on impulsive. The wider message behind the activity was that life constantly throws situations our way that test our reaction speed. The question is “Are we able to demonstrate the aptitude to perform a set task that has a time-bound limitation with calm, cool composure? Our residents sure did!  

Chocolate is a winning incentive to hook anyone's attention, our SHAFA residents are no different. When we heard chocolate involved, of course we wanted to know more!! Maheshwari Ji encouraged the residents to visualize a goal they had in life; whether it was ‘go to college, get married, start a business etc.’ Residents were instructed to creatively form a dance-step routine while moving towards the chocolate [imagining their particular goal in their mind]. Each resident had to demonstrate the unique pursuit of their goal and audibly express their joy and gratitude for accomplishing it. Some members gracefully pirouetted, while others performed a bhangra and break-dance fusion. The common factor? All met with their goals and happily munched on their prize!

The next two activities had our resident's joining pairs, the first exercise they would take it in turns to be each other's shadow. The aim was to seamlessly copy each other's movements. This allowed our residents' ingenuity and innovation shine through in all its glory. When asked why this was done, members chirpily expressed that it tested their leadership and communication skills.

Establishing trust was the primary objective of the second exercise. We were instructed to place our hands on our partner’s shoulders, close our eyes shut and place blind faith in our companion to lead us round the hall without bumping into anyone else. As the “conga line” of pairs wound its way round the ‘Asha Grah’, beaming smiles and emphatic congratulations emanated from residents’ faces. This exercise urged us not only just to trust in our environment, but also to remember we are all team players. We can only avoid collisions in life if we follow our own path with our eyes wide open, totally aware of where our route is taking us. If it won’t lead us to our desired destination, only our hands can change it!   

Behind the razzle dazzle, Maheshwari Ji was asking us this important question...”can we dance to the rhythm of life?”  Life’s pace is constantly chopping and changing it’s up to us to match our stride alongside with the changing scene, without losing our unique sparkle. If we choose to remain rigid and inflexible, this is to our detriment only. The rest of the world will inevitably continue however we will be the ones who lose out on the opportunities life has in store for us.    

This session superbly added to residents’ self-efficacy beliefs, self-empowerment and positive self-image. Everybody had a smashing time swaying and sashaying their troubles away not to mention receiving a yummy chocolate reward for busting great moves! We learnt nothing in life ever remains static; it’s up to us to boogie along with the beat. Our deep and sincere thanks to Ms. Maheshwari Jani for a brilliant session!    

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