Thursday, November 3, 2016

Family support and addiction recovery: Moving through fear

In every story about heroes, from the Greek myths to modern day adaptations like Star Wars in order to grow the hero has to confront their fears, battle with that fear and ultimately move beyond that fear. In order to conquer the demon you must face it head on, see it for what it is and master the fear.
Here, we explore how you can cope with addiction within the family. Take you own hero’s journey and let go of the fear that is holding you back. Fear of change. Fear of things staying the same. Fear of others. Fear of ourselves. Then, we invite your questions or comments about addiction and the family at the end. In fact, we try to respond to all comments with a personal and prompt reply.
Moving Through Fear: A Guide To Letting Go!
Fear is a powerful motivator, but frequently it motivates us in the wrong direction, away from things that allow us to grow, keeping us from opportunity. This is especially true for people who grew up (or are growing up) in homes with alcoholism or addiction. Why? Because we have been trained to understand that the things we are afraid often come true.
The Monsters Are Real
When you are being raised with alcoholism or substance abuse in the mix, there really are monsters. You learn early on that it is best to live life in a way that keeps the monsters away. The problem is that as we grow the things that were true when we were young may not be true anymore, and living our lives based on those fears means that we are living limited by our past. To live a fully engaged life, we have to learn from the past but we also have to let go of the things that have stopped protecting us and now prohibit us from reaching our full potential; old fear has to go!
How to overcome monsters like alcoholism in real life ?
5 Steps For Families In Addiction Recovery
1. Face the demonlpline
What are you afraid of? This is not always an obvious answer so get into your childhood  mode and start asking “why”. If you are resisting doing something new, or unwilling to take on a different kind of challenge, or if your immediate reaction to something is to say “no” explore this-ask yourself why over and over until you can get to the root of what is making you uncomfortable. You don’t have to change your mind, you just want to get to a point of understanding.
2. Explain the reason for the fear.
Once you have got down to the root of the discomfort, explain it  why yourself just the way you would explain it to another person if they were sitting in the room with you.
3. Argue with yourself.
Apply logic. Does it really make sense to hold onto this fear with the people and circumstances of your life today? Does it still apply? If you were told over and over that you couldn’t or shouldn’t or were bad are those things actually true today? Is there evidence to support this or is it just an old story?
4. Reject/Replace/Receive based on what you just learned.
After you looked at the fear and taken a chance to understand where it came from and whether or not it is still true make a decision about what you are going to do with this information. If it isn’t true and doesn’t fit your life anymore then Reject it. If it’s really just an old habit and there is something new that applies to your life, Replace that old fear with what is true for you today.
5. Work with the fear.
Finally, maybe the fear is still applicable to your life, maybe you have more work to do, that’s okay; allow yourself to embrace the fear, Receive it in your life and accept that it is something you have to work with. Simply by acknowledging it you may give yourself the opportunity to ask for help, ask for comfort, seek guidance and find ways to start letting it go.
It is not easy
This isn’t an easy process. Here is my own example: I get uncomfortable when I have to rely on someone else to do something, whether this is building a piece of furniture or taking out the trash. I’m afraid I’m not going to get what I want and I am not going to be taken care of. I don’t trust that the other person will do what they say, and I’m afraid they won’t like me because I asked.
Because I grew up in a house with substance abuse , family dysfunction and addiction. The adults who raised me didn’t follow through on what they said. Then they would tell me I was a bad person for asking.
It was winter..
As an adult, I had to look at whether or not this was a reasonable behavior to expect from my spouse, co-worker’s or other adults. With a lot of exploration I realized it was not reasonable behavior and I could reject the fear that prevented me from trusting others, I could replace that feeling with what was true now-sadness at how I had been treated as a child and disappointment when someone doesn’t follow through, and I was able to receive a new depth in my relationships because I was no longer showing up with old fears.
Coming face to face with your fears can be terrifying; ; realizing that you don’t have to be controlled by that fear means that you can come out of that dark tunnel to glorious new opportunities for living your life. That’s why we are here at Shafa Home to help get you started.

Shafa Home is country’s premier organization for treatment of alcohol/drug problems, de-addiction, rehabilitation, counseling, treatment for females, nasha mukti , psychiatric disorders and secondary addictions like gambling, internet etc.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Personal Experience by Bhanu Kapoor.

I have been in this treatment for almost 18 months. I have experienced many ups and downs that have taught me to be tough with my decision making. I decide now on even small matters with a long discussion and take a unanimous decision if I am sure that decision will give me the solution of the problem. Hence I have learnt here in Shafa Home to deal with problems practically in a realistic way related to addiction in a better way. Now I have grown up to this world of uncertainty where you would find people deeply engrossed in to addiction and whom are not able to come out of this grave situation so they have only their strong will power and experience gained from the treatment and the things they learnt while they were undergoing the program where they learnt realistic and practical solutions to fight this dreaded monster of addiction. It was at the de-addiction center that they learnt what they were missing in their real life when they were deeply in to addiction and now they can get out of this and prosper peacefully in their life and enjoy fruits of recovery by using their sense of reason as I have been using since my last 5 months after completing my treatment .I am really thankful to Shafa Home to have provided me a platform of recovery and healthy life. This has given me a confidence in life and now I can enjoy my life with the fruits of recovery. Now I can enjoy every moment of life and can make use of all the opportunities available in this world. 

In Past I Bhanu Kapoor was a cheerful and fun loving person. I was enjoying my life with academics, music, dancing and relationships. Everything was going fine, but suddenly this fun started getting away from me and my lovable friends changed into some others. This moment was so evil that I forgot all my customs and relations and it evolved so fast that I was unable to withstand against it. Finally, I started abusing drugs. My family relations and I were effected so badly that I started running and in the end that so called run ended at Shafa Home.
I am happy that I took treatment from Shafa Home. Here I forgot that feeling of going home. Now if I look upon myself, I am happy to see myself as a changed person. I am no longer careless, no more taking things lightly and most important I have a strong belief of not touching drugs ever in my life..I am heartily thankful to SHAFA, MY FAMILY and all those people who helped me in this journey which results in that I am writing and sharing my journey in front of you all proudly….and when I go back home after working here at Shafa Home as a Voluntary Staff I feel very relaxed and also feel proud of myself to be in Recovery. I am now enjoying the fruits of recovery. I feel very happy when people at my place and even my neighbors’ compliment me about my success in recovery they ask me how did I got out of addiction. They are all inspired about how people recover from the dreaded monster called addiction. So I would like to thank Shafa home for helping me get out of addiction and enjoy my life without being dependent on any of the substance and lead a healthy life.