Life can be
overwhelming. Look around your community and see that depression, suicide, and
addictions are on the increase. Clearly people are hurting and feel alone
with their pain. But who cares? Maybe you feel there’s nothing you
can do that would make a difference. Admittedly you may not be able
to change the earth, but you may be able to change how someone feels about
themselves and their world.
No matter how small your gesture, it
can make a difference to someone. A smile costs nothing but it may just
brighten someone’s day. A sympathetic ear can help someone feel that they are
not alone with their problem. An offer of help may give someone an extra
boost to achieve their dream. It’s not important how you show you care, as
long as you do. For when you do, you initiate a chain of kindness that is
passed on to others and it is this collective caring that creates change.
Sometimes though it isn’t the lack
of care or love that is the concern, it is the ability to receive it that
is difficult. If you’ve experienced rejection you can be left with a lack of
trust which forms a barrier to accepting any level affection. I went
through many years convincing myself I didn’t want anyone to love for me
out of pure fear that I would attach to their love only to have it ripped away
from me. And even believing that someone would want to care was
improbable. How could anyone care about me when my own mother had physically abandoned me
and mentally killed me off in her mind? Yet I did need someone to care. I
needed it desperately. Yet whilst I was too terrified to take the risk to reach
out, it was impossible for anyone to reach in. The combination of depression and alcoholism constructed
an emotional barricade that was impenetrable.
Unfortunately my mental fortress
served only to trap me further in my own cycle of despair by restricting me to
living each day based only on my experiences of rejection and abuse. Worse, it
prevented any chance of allowing healing or restoration. There was only one way
that I was going to ever be able to be helped and that was for the walls
to come down. Of course this was an inevitability that I hadn’t the courage to face, and so it was my mental
breakdown that resulted in the collapse of my barriers. As they came crushing
down, my vulnerability was exposed and I waited for the end of my life to come.
But it didn’t. Because someone
cared. Professionals stepped in and there were friends who stood by me. They
cared for me when I didn’t care. They loved me when I was at my most unlovable.
They believed in me when I was unable to believe in myself. Over time I learnt
how to renew my boundaries in a positive way. Life stopped being simply a
battle against the bad, and became a home for the good.
Most importantly I found a faith
founded in unconditional love. God cared. He loved me and done
all along. When I was willing to receive the love that had been waiting
for me, I was then able to heal. And as I handed over my past, present
and future into the security of His hands, so I found the refuge I had longed
for. Today I am safe in His care. We all need someone to care for
us. But that love needs to be rooted in truth. And it needs to be given
freely. A word of warning – if someone is showing you that they care only to
want something from you in return, then it isn’t genuine. Steer clear.
Shafa
Home is country’s premier organization for treatment of alcohol/drug problems,
de-addiction, rehabilitation, counseling, treatment for females, nasha mukti,
psychiatric disorders and secondary addictions like gambling, internet etc.
‘Who cares?’
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