Saturday, February 7, 2015

Boosting Self Worth and Esteem with Maheshwari Jani

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. Initially our residents are a nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic lot. On the other hand, after completing the treatment they are someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.
To instill the life skills of self-esteem and assertiveness in our residents, Shafa Home has noted corporate trainer, Ms.Maheshwari take regular sessions at our Delhi facility centre. On 5th February Mahi, took an energetic and flamboyant session on building self- esteem. According to Mahi, confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks. This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

The first activity in the session involved residents being divided into smaller groups. Then, using a roll of toilet paper, residents were told to pluck a sheet from the roll each time a resident extolled his virtue. At the end of the sessions, the residents were able to see their stack of tissues pile up. This activity was on building self-esteem through self affirmations. In the next activity, the residents were taken through a cathartic exercise. By writing down on sheet of paper all the things that had hurt them that they wanted to forget… Mahi promised the residents a magic trick for doing so. After writing it all down, they just had to crumple the sheet and throw it away. This exercise was a much needed one for our residents. To move ahead in life, they must unlearn something, they must learn to let go of the past to build a future.
At Shafa Home, we believe that it's just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – there by building competence. Without this underlying competence, our residents don't have self-confidence: they have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings. Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If we are under-confident, we’ll avoid taking risks and stretching ourselves; and we might not try at all. And if we’re over-confident, we may take on too much risk, stretch ourselves beyond our capabilities, and crash badly. Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on our true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, our residents will take informed risks, stretch themselves (but not beyond their abilities) and try hard.

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