WE BOTH HAVE A PROBLEM…….. ME AND HIM

We often curse ourselves if someone in our family is an addict. We start blaming ourselves; feel ashamed of facing the world. This leads to a deprived life and unknowingly we are caught in the web of those behaviors or feeling which are common to an Addict. It is really important to know that how we as a family are effected by those behaviors. How we are becoming co dependent to it.

PREOCCUPATION: An addict is always preoccupied in his addiction thought. While sleeping in the night he will be planning for next day dose. His mind will be focused on how he will arrange money for his next drugs. In the same way family is also preoccupied with thoughts that how they will be managing his addictive behavior.

LOSS OF CONTROL: An addict loses his control over his action and conscious level under the influence of drugs. He becomes violent and starts fighting with his family. He breaks his new mobile. In the same manner, family loses control after seeing addict and react in anger to everyone else.

JUSTIFYING:  An addict have a tendency of justifying his addiction. The person minimizes his addiction and put blames on other situation. In the same way family justifies their own irresponsible behavior, and put the addict in limelight.

AVOIDING SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS: An addict always avoids social relationships as he wants to be alone, he doesn’t want anyone to confront him. In the same way family start avoiding social relationship in a fear. They start getting in a depressed feeling.

You will find that after your dear one has gone into addiction, you developed these behaviors which were never before. Understanding the same is important, as that dear one of your will come back to home, with corrected behavior. If you still behave in earlier manner, the treatment process won’t be complete. There is a need to understand that how we need to correct our behavior, as you as a family are the biggest strong point. 

WHETHER MY SON WILL ABLE TO ADJUST?

Whether my son will able to adjust? One mother asked in the family meeting. It is the first question which generally families ask when they come to SHAFA out of anxieties for their loved ones. We modified this question for better understanding for rest of the people present there. Our counsellor said her to think whether her son would be able to survive without drugs; whether he will perform daily activities without hallucinations; whether he will live a fruitful life.

It is very obvious that without drugs a new resident in treatment loses his patience. He reacts, he craves for his past life when he dominated his family and took drugs. There he was getting every kind of facility, the best parents could provide, but still he was using drugs. So in the treatment also he is getting everything but not the thing which he desire the most, i.e. his ‘DRUGS’.  So the question of whether he is comfortable in the agency does not arise. In fact, here the main focus is not on his comfortability but on his correction of behaviour. Hence in comparison to his using life, he has a routine and disciplined life in SHAFA, which he has never observed earlier. His every second is scheduled here. There is a proper time for every activity due to which corrections in the life of an addict are made.

Next, a lady asked what is the minimum time the guy would get ready and motivated for long term treatment. On this we responded that based on our experiences it takes approx  2 to 3 months, provided families strongly convey their desire to complete his treatment. This helps the resident to break his notion and image and he starts adapting to the treatment in reality.

After seeing people getting emotional, it was brought in their attention that we have always been emotional in front of him and he has always blackmailed them. These feelings were used by the addict in all together wrong ways. Addicts take undue advantage of the family members and take their love and affection as granted.  This needs to be stopped.