Social events pop up frequently and many a
time our calendars are filled with them. It may be your best friend's birthday,
your niece's wedding anniversary.. Whatever it is, most
of us have some sort of social engagement to go to every now and then. Now,
this really is not a big deal to the average person and in fact these events
are something we generally look forward to. However, for a recovering addict these social events can
be the bane of their very
existence.
People who
have recently come out of addiction
treatment often avoid social gatherings and events for the first few
months, which is totally understandable and often encouraged under the
circumstances. However, there is going to come a time when you want to stop
missing out on milestone celebrations, and you also may find that you feel the
need to start socialising again. The problem is that many of these social
events include alcohol and if you are in addiction
recovery this could prove a huge stumbling block.
It is
important to remember that it is entirely possible to stay sober at a party or
an event and still have fun. Every individual has a different personality and
if you are a social person who would still like to go out and mingle, there are
some really good tips that will help you to stay sober (and have fun) at social
events.
A Survival Guide to Staying
Sober at Social Gatherings
Having fun at these gatherings is
definitely important, but first and foremost you must
remain sober. Which
is why, before we get to the ‘fun' part, we are going to ensure you stay sober
with these four incredibly important tips:
1. Be Aware of the kind of environment
you are going to : Before accepting an
invitation to a party, you need to be sure about the circumstances you will
find yourself in. Do not be afraid to ask questions about the people going and
the type of party it will be. If you feel comfortable to do so, ask if there
will be any alcohol-free drinks available, and if there will be any other
non-drinkers there. Once you have ascertained the kind of environment that it
will be, then you can easily decide if you want to attend and can prepare
yourself in advance. One good question to ask yourself is this: ‘Would these
people still be getting together if alcohol was not involved?'. If the answer
is no, then it is probably not the safest place for you to be.
2. Bring a buddy : It is always a good idea to take a friend or family member along
who knows of your situation and will support you by also not drinking. This will put you at
ease since you are not the only one remaining sober, and they can help you get
some sober fun activities started. As well, they will be a sober person to talk
to if the other guests have had a few cocktails too many and are too much to
handle. And if it should come down to it, they can also be your second will
power should you feel the urge to take a drink.
3. Be in control of your own drink: While you may think it is silly to be so pedantic about your
drink around friends and family, the fact of the matter is that it is very easy
for someone to forget you are staying sober and pour you something alcoholic by
mistake. Always make sure you get your own drinks and watch the bartender while
it is being poured to ensure that no alcohol goes into it. Also be aware that
some of the people around you may not understand your circumstances, and your
previous alcohol or drug addiction, and slip some alcohol into your drink in a
joking manner in an attempt to help you ‘loosen up'. And – do not put your
drink down on a table and return for it later. You could easily mistake your
glass for one full of alcohol and be headed for a relapse with just one
unintended sip.
4. Have an exit plan: One of the most important things when staying sober at a social
event is to have an exit strategy. If it gets late, or you simply start to feel
uncomfortable with the level of inebriation around you, then you need to pack
up and leave. Immediately. Have an excuse ready before you get to the party –
you have some work to finish up, or a friend of yours needs help. If you
brought a friend or family member with you, simply tell them you need to go. If
you do not get to say goodbyes, do not worry. Send an email or call the hosts
the next day with a heart-felt thank you, and an apology for not saying goodbye
before you left.
Tips on How to Have Fun Sober
Now that we have got the real important
stuff out of the way, we can continue with tips for how to also have fun when
staying sober at these social gatherings. Check out the following tips on
how to have fun while also maintaining your sober
living goals:
1. Activities: One of the best ways to stay sober and have fun when you are recovering
from a substance abuse disorder is to ask the host to plan some fun activities or games. Or
better yet, you can bring them yourself. It will help you feel included and
ensure that everyone has heaps of fun, while you are able to stay sober.
2. Make some mocktails : Get our your (freshly washed) martini shaker or blender, and get
creative with your own beverages. Bring some great juices, fresh herbs and
fruits to the party and see how you can dazzle your friends with delicious, non-alcoholic ‘mocktails' that will make even the biggest
booze-enthusiast forget about alcohol for the time being. Not only will your
friends thank you for providing a great addition to the party, but it is also a
great way to meet new people – and you have already got an icebreaker! Not to
mention, you will get to sip on delightful beverages all evening while staying
sober.
3. Relax and be yourself: Being the sober one at the party might make you feel like you
are under a spotlight. ‘Is everyone looking at me? Are they talking about my
illness?' etc… But the fact is, nobody else at the party really truly cares
whether or not you are drinking. They are, and that is all that
matters. Having fun sober at parties can often be all about the
mind-set that you are in. Be confident and engage in games and/or conversation
every chance you get. There is no reason to feel shy or awkward because you are
the sober one! The drunker they get (and the more secrets and embarrassing
stories they share) the more dirt you have got on them the next day.
4. Get involved: Being at a party after recovering from drug and/or alcohol
addiction can be trying as we all know.
However, the best way to handle the situation is to get involved. Play DJ on
the stereo, or help the hosts bring out the food, clean up, or anything else
they could use a hand with.
5. Plan your own
sober party. : The best way to have
control over alcohol at an event, is to host the party yourself. Is it your cousin’s
birthday? Offer to host it at your place. This way, you can place the main
focus of the party on beautiful decorations, delicious food and creative
mocktails. Plan ahead and have a day full of games and fun activities planned.
It is a perfect way for you to stay sober, while also having a great time with
all your family and friends.
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