On Wednesday 25th
June 2014, the fabulously charismatic Maheshwari Jani hotfooted it to SHAFA
HOME, Delhi to present her seventh session with our residents on the topic of establishing
an effective peer to peer communication. The session lasted for two hours in
which all residents and staff members attended the insightful class.
Maheshwari’s
winning interaction style never fails to wow the socks off us... Despite the
intense summer humidity, she magically roused our half-asleep residents out of
their drowsy state and immediately set them to task! After all, we all know
there’s no time for dilly-dallying in any of Mahi’s sessions!...The question of
the day was: How can we best interact with our peers? Today we would be
investigating how different components of linguistics (speech) and
paralinguistics (body language) when coupled together establish an individual’s
unique communication style.
The resident’s
first exercise involved them writing a positive and working point for each
other on the piece of paper pinned to their backs. The set up of the exercise
was such that members would receive personal feedback anonymously. This ensured
no resentment would be generated as a cause of the activity. Then after
receiving feedback, individual residents were called to the front of the hall
and were instructed to verbalise their positive comment with full intent, force
and conviction. We could notice whether the resident was being true to himself
through his body positioning; if it was square, strong and grounded, we could
all realise he honestly felt the positive quality shined within him too. She
then progressed to one-on-one consultations where she empathetically and
compassionately explained how they could improve in certain aspects of their
behaviour. Her voice tone was low, soft and caring. This activity greatly added
to their self-confidence and empowerment. Maheshwari’s knack of engaging our
boys is second to none! 
Communication
wins people over or makes them run a mile from us; it’s all a matter of how we
choose to conduct ourselves and relate to our peers. Do we want to be open and
positive? Or closed and sullen? This was the first golden rule that Maheshwari
Ji made clear to us. Our body language gives us away and it is something we
need to be 100% aware of constantly. Prior to recovery, addicts have that
unfortunate ability to repel people away by their mere presence even before they
manage to open their mouths...This is the sheer power that body language has..in
fact, 70% of communication is done non-verbally and 30% is accomplished through
speech. It’s a known fact that you can judge a person’s personality within the
first 30 seconds of meeting them without needing to speak to them...armed with
this fact, Maheshwari Ji set the residents to their second task!
We were asked to spread the love...everyone knows that
free hugs never go amiss at SHAFA HOME! Residents meandered round the ‘Asha
Grah’ and embraced their fellow brothers. Now, the beauty of this exercise was
that it immediately obvious that emotional intents cannot be faked easily. A
subtle application of touch/pressure (paralinguistic components of communication)
can distinguish whether a resident meant his intent wholeheartedly or was being
fake. Emotional intent shapes the words that eventually leave our lips. If our
intents are false and flaky then inevitably our actions aren’t going to be
particularly robust to our purpose either. For any recovering addict, a strong
inside is reflected by his outward composure. For our residents, a key goal of
recovery is establishing a honest and
decisive mentality – making positive decisions then firmly sticking to them
and carrying them out. To achieve this, their words and actions must synchronise
in order to produce this infallibility of character. This is what will make
them a success in the outside world!
Maheshwari’s
following task involved our residents enacting four different situations; the
first involved two friends meeting after a long separation period, the second
involved the giving of mopping directions, the third involved a neighbour finding
out his motorcycle seat got burned and the fourth involved a typical SHAFA
senior-to-younger peer ‘dealing’. Giggles of glee resonated within the ‘Asha
Greh’ as residents enjoyed in the theatrical presentations of our enrapturing
and entertaining boys. They have incredibly imaginative minds! 
Behind the fun,
frolics and “draamebaazi” there was an insightful message conveyed regarding
the day’s topic. Receptivity, awareness and emotional intelligence are all very
important factors which stimulate healthy dialogue between people. This
activity allowed our residents’ sensitive streak to shine through and their aptitude
at deciphering non-verbal and verbal ‘feedback’ cues as well as knowing what
words were appropriate to use in each respective situation. ‘Perception of
Position’ is an NLP term which describes this; healthy and effective
communication requires an individual to regulate their body language and their
speaking style (vocal modulation, voice-pitch and tone) as he or she
consciously adapts to their surroundings and company. 
The very fact
that our residents are able to pick up on these cues and thus successfully fan
and channel the direction of the conversation to the natural apex of
‘compromise and resolution’ is a fantastically positive sign of their emotional
growth ascertained within treatment so far! The staff were resoundingly impressed
and pleasantly relieved that their residents were slowly slowly gleaning
something positive from TC life are implementing their newly discovered skills
into practice.
In the final
activity of the day, Maheshwari Ji became the ‘Queen of the Jungle’; fearful roars
boomed from this lioness catching four poachers trespassing into her kingdom.
Our four boys were quite startled by her vibrantly vivacious vocalisations.
Some were a little frightened to be quite honest! They had to reason coolly and
calmly with the lioness. This exercise tested how well our residents could keep
their cool despite being faced an emotionally uncomfortable and difficult
situation. Reasoning, assertion and negotiation skills were examined here. We
are proud to say our boys emerged as verbal virtuosos! Many of them have a
natural flair at self-expression and a captivating penchant for words!
Today’s session
was a dazzling success showing that our residents are indeed capable of
successfully “assembling the components of peer to peer interaction to crack
the communication code” through their empathetic, compassionate and emotionally
intelligent natures. They shone like stars this, so its fair to say treatment
is clearly working its magic on them. The way we communicate makes or breaks
our charm and magnetism. Through awareness and willingness to break through
communicative barriers we can aver our ability to fortify our social
connections with others. From all of us at SHAFA HOME, our sincere thanks go to
Ms. Maheshwari Jani for another marvellous and informative session!
To view pics please click on the link below:
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