Virtual Reality - Opening the Gates of Shafa Home

What is the magic?? How does one get treated of addiction?? What happens on the carpet?? What is this programme?? Do they beat up my kid?? Does he behave properly inside?? Do they give him medicines?? Is he allowed to smoke?? Do the counselors lie that my son dances every Saturday?? Do the counselors lie that my father plays Holi and celebrates Diwali?? How does the Therapeutic environment work?? How do I ensure my brother would not run away from the centre??

If I sit down and start asking you, there would be a thousand many questions and doubts running through your mind concurrently. And I acknowledge your suspicions looking at the sorry state of TC’s and Rehabilitation Centers in India. I was just talking to my parents the other day and was asking them what made them choose Shafa Home, because they had quite a many options to choose from. Their answer was ‘transparency’. Although transparency for them was just the feedback they used to get from the counselors, however, deep down in their hearts they were ambiguous about my situation and recovery. My father said “I had never thought that you would come out and not drink”. They were just banking upon sheer luck and the expertise of the Shafa Home Faculty.

Till I had made it to 6 months my parents had only a superficial belief in Shafa like most first timers, always wondering what happens on the other side. They used to call up several times and ask as to what I was doing, what I was eating, how I was sleeping and all sorts. They used to come once two days before the meeting and then early on the day of the meeting just to be sure of things. They used to stand outside and steal a look at the terrace to see if I could be seen. They used to look at the stage chart in the ‘Ashagraha’ and find my name there and wonder when would I top the chart. They used to proudly show my name on the ‘Best Member Name Plate’ to other family members. They used to constantly fight their paradigm and say all is well. In spite of the re assurances give by the Counsellors and Staff at Shafa, they always had this thin line of doubt as to what happens beyond Ashagraha.

I completed treatment and entered the transition phase, and am still moving on positively for the past around three years, however, my parents still have this quest, as to what happens inside the four walls of the Shafa Home, that keeps me moving on.

After I became a staff at Shafa, me and Ranjan Ji decided to start this blog and reduce the distance between the in and out of Shafa Home. We started showing what was happening at the other side of the line. We started writing to let people know the recovery recipes of Shafa. We started showing our viewers the amazing world of Shafa. The interaction between Shafa Home and Family members began to grow. We had walked past the conventional methods of getting in touch with the outer world. We had started sending messages for Family Meetings, Holi, Diwali etc. We had started sending blog links on mobiles. A facebook account was made to get into social networking. Pictures were being uploaded to let the world see us through the internet.

It was time and I moved on to more complex things in life like job and family etc. There came a new set of recovery addicts working as volunteers who took the responsibility of taking Shafa Home to the next level....the level of Virtual Reality.

I was sitting at home the day before and was working on the internet and suddenly came across some videos which were shot by the recovery addicts of Shafa and were uploaded on the youtube. These videos were the virtual reality of the much sought after question: WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE SHAFA HOME?? There were videos of the residents dancing, there were videos of the residents playing ‘Gaddhe wali Holi’ in Kotdwar, there were videos of residents doing yoga, there were videos of the success stories of recovery addicts. It made me sit and think for a while and be proud that these recovery addicts may have been useless people at some point in their life but today they are bridging the gap between the two worlds.

This article comes in as a note of appreciation to all those people, all those proud recovery addicts who have put in their share in purpose to bring Shafa to such a level of virtual reality and transparency. I also request all the people who follow us on our website, facebook, blog and twitter to go ahead and mark their comments on the work we are doing, so as to enable us to keep up the good work.

And for all those of you who are curious to know WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE SHAFA HOME?? Go home, surf the net, catch the videos on youtube, find the pics on facebook, read the articles on blog and follow us on twitter!!

Signing off for now 

Arijeet – Ek Sudharta Hua Nashebaz        

TO BE AWARE IS TO BE ALIVE

How many times have you heard that a person met with an accident because he was talking on mobile? How many times have you forgotten to put off the stove due to which your food got spoiled? How many times have you suffered losses in business due to negligence? In day to day life we come across various problems which arise as we are not 'AWARE'.

In an addict’s life, his attitude of not being aware leads to a gamut of problems. He spends his money on his addiction, without being aware that his child’s school fee needs to be deposited. His old mother cries and woo's through pain but for him his next drug dose is important. He bunks his college just to be there with addict friends, without realizing the loss to his future. He is not aware how badly he treats and abuses his family, who, are the only people who care for him.  In totality he is not aware how he is losing on all important aspects of his life.

In SHAFA, awareness is practised in its true sense. The treatment as practised in SHAFA is about being aware of one owns life. The resident starts learning to be aware from the small issues happening in the house. He holds himself and other family members accountable using the tool called ‘confrontation’. He is aware now, that unless he is not in here and now, he can’t earn his recovery. Even after the treatment a recovering addict is always aware and attentive that a mere thought of addiction can lead to his relapse. When the resident completes his treatment he doesn’t only starts responding to his own recovery but is more aware about his families concerns too.  So if a person wants to live his life to the fullest, he needs to be AWARE.

The Therapeutic Aquarium

It was Sunday and I was sitting at the barber’s to get a shave. I was sitting right next to an aquarium, which had lots of fishes of different sizes and colors in it. While I was admiring the marvels of Mother Nature, a very strong desire took me over, a desire to pull out a fish from that Aquarium. A desire to see what happens once this little fish gets out of the resources it can never live without, a desire to see what pain can mean, a desire to see it jumping erratically. Not that I am a devil, but, I think I just wanted to see which pain was bigger the fishes or mine, or on the least, I wanted to experience the pain that the little fish would go through.

Well, my name is Arijeet…and I am an addict. It’s been quite some time since I’ve written here. And today I am writing with a reason. My GOD (I have a different God, not quite the same as you might have) does things differently and all with a reason that always ends up in my favor. And this time he took a decision to throw me out of his vivarium (that’s what I thought until the comedy of errors was sorted).

Shafa to me is a shrine of peace, love and prosperity and a place where lives are rekindled. And, I, being a product of Shafa, am all the more emotional, sentimental and attached to this common ground. I kept on waiting that day, restlessly, wishing I could die the very moment, craving, trying to figure out why I was not being allowed to go up there. My world was shattered; it was something that I couldn’t take at all. Back in the car tears started rolling through my eyes. It was a long time since I had cried. My heart filled with all the six feelings - pain, shame, anger, hurt, guilt and fear. Couldn’t have told anything to my family. I never ever thought such a day would come in my life, where Shafa wouldn’t be there. I was already amid an emotional relapse. Now it was not a matter of whether I was wrong or not, I had already been punished. Felt like talking to nobody, like eating nothing, like drinking nothing like doing absolutely nothing. I felt weak, my knees shaking, my face worn out. I knew if it were old times I would have actually relapsed by then.

But then suddenly I took hold of myself. I started talking to myself as I used to in the early days of my treatment. I started a self introspection as I was taught during my treatment. I started looking at the pros and cons. I could see that everything was on stake just because of one small incident and that my wisdom was fading away. Silence and Smile….are the two biggest most weapons that Shafa gave me to fight the times of distress and that’s what I did. I kept silent and smiled to myself. I knew this was the testing time and a time of realization as to how much I loved Shafa. I felt lighter and through, with all my feelings. I didn’t need to explain anything. I didn’t need to send the message I had written and not sent. All of a sudden my belief in my GOD revived. I knew he would understand and know that I am tied to Shafa as a child is tied to its mother’s womb. I knew this too shall pass. I knew directions are never long-term.

I know it is very difficult for us, addicts, to handle situations like these. We need lots of therapeutic fishes around us to help us through and always be in our water and to make us realize that we are the products of The Therapeutic Aquarium, an Aquarium called Shafa.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

N.B. – I know my urge to get that fish out was wrong and temporary. It is very easy to destroy gifts of Mother Nature but very difficult to keep them alive. I am grateful that my GOD has kept me alive.  

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep….Ranjan Ji celebrates his 22nd Recovery Birthday!!

‘The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.’ These were some inspirational words by the renowned poet Robert Frost in his poem ‘Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening’. However, my reason for remembering these famous lines here, today, is the strong resemblance of these lines to what Ranjan Ji has achieved on this 20^th of April 2011, marking his 22nd Recovery Birthday. A perfect time to review, reanalyze and to rejuvenate as to what he has lived through all these years. This was his perfect day to take an inventory of what he has recovered during these 22 years to make his life a total bliss. And I know as I say this, there would be many inquisitive minds flabbergasted with a question, “Ranjan Ji... A recovery addict?”

Celebrations started from the midnight of 20th April, as people started calling Ranjan Ji to wish him the very best on his Birthday. There were many grateful lives that Ranjan Ji has healed (and is still healing) with his dream project, Shafa. There were recovering addicts who have wanted, all their lives, to be like the legend, himself. There were people from all genres, non-addicts, families and friends etc. who wanted to wish him success. People are crazy about him and his effervescent ways. And mark my words when I say this, the Ranjan fan league is big, irrespective of age, sex, cast, creed etc. He knows the way of ushering people into true happiness by fine tuning situations, which often makes people idolize him.

Amidst all the celebrations, the Shafa family was eagerly waiting for his sharing. It seemed as if we were celebrating some national event.  Though, he was going to Jammu the same day, he made it a point to come to Shafa and share his feelings with the family members. He said, “I can only celebrate my recovery birthday here, because people outside don’t know what recovery birthday’s are.” He was heartily welcomed by the family members who were more or less carried away on this auspicious occasion. With snow spray’s and flowers all over it looked as if Ashagrah had suddenly turned into a paradise. Every beating heart had a euphoric feeling, a feeling of love, respect and lots of expectations. Ranjan Ji shared as to how he bridged himself back to life. He shared some interesting instances from his past which gave him strength to come such a long way. He shared as to how, after deciding to leave, he returned to his counselor and told him that his survival in the outside world was impossible. He shared as to how, in the Sarai Rohilla centre, he used to look out of the window and miss his family.

At a point during his sharing, he also reminisced about his father, Sh. M. L. Dhar, who passed away a couple of months ago, and for the first time ever since I’ve met him, I saw a tear in his eye. It was a very weak moment and every single person in that room became emotional. Everyone listened to him with great awe as not an eye blinked while he spoke. His sharing was a big boost for the youngsters who have just entered the treatment. I can very well imagine how some of the residents would have changed their views about the treatment that day and would have thought of spending a life similar to his.

With such a long time in recovery and that too just serving people and being amongst addicts day in and day out, his recovery undoubtedly speaks  of his significant contribution to the society, saving life’s of addicts and their families, making it all a true life time achievement. Here it also makes it necessary for me to tell you that, I, myself have been with Ranjan Ji since I came into treatment, and quite like the inquisitive minds I mentioned earlier, even I never believe that he is a recovery addict or even has got anything to do with addiction. And even if he has, this is just his 22nd recovery year; he always needs to remember Mr. Bill from the Big Book of AA and that he needs to strive harder as he himself has unending miles to go in Recovery!!