Many people who are struggling with
an addiction to drugs or alcohol, or who are in recovery have had some kind of
experience with anger, or may even have an anger problem. Many a times, these individuals
are unaware of the source of their anger, yet it is at the core of most of
their problems in their life.
Anger could derive from past
childhood traumas to frequent stress at work or home. At times, anger may seem
to empower an individual, but in the end it will deplete them of any energy
they had, and make any kind of positive thoughts and actions difficult to
achieve.
What Can a Person Do to Let Go of
Their Anger?
Recognise the positive aspects of
anger.
The first thing to do when trying to
let go of anger is to recognise the positive role that anger can play in the
individual's life. Yes that is right, the positive role. Anger does serve a
purpose; it lets a person know that something is not right. When an individual
is feeling angry, they should take a step back and closely examine the
situation. This in turn will allow them to get closer to the root of the anger
and then take the necessary action towards positive change.
Recognise how anger is being
expressed negatively.
The next thing that an individual
should do when trying to let go of their anger is to figure out how they are
expressing their anger in a negative way. Often times, an individual will hide
their anger and let it ‘grow' deep inside of them. Because they are unable to
find a healthy way to express it, the anger comes out in other negative ways.
The following examples are things
that a person with a great deal of hidden anger may show. The person may often
be sarcastic, be late for work or important appointments, be over-polite to
where it seems fake, speak in a monotone voice, procrastinate with tasks, have
difficulty sleeping, become easily irritated, appear high strung or tense, or
exhibit unintentional, similar, repeated physical acts.
The opposite of hidden anger is
vented anger. This can be just as destructive. While it is important to express
these feelings, sometimes it can be taken to an extreme and it is often used as
a way of establishing power over people and situations.
Find the source.
The third thing to do when one is
trying to let go of anger is to find the source or root. Anger can come from
many different sources or circumstances. When calm, the individual should try
to self-analyse: Do they have any unfulfilled expectations? Are things in their
life not as they would like or are beyond their control? Do they often think
about the negative experiences they have had? Do they feel overwhelmed or
overworked? Do they think that life is unfair and are convinced that nothing
will ever change for the better? Instead of dealing with the situations that
seem beyond control, do they try to indulge in things they can control like,
food, sex, drugs, or alcohol?
Once the root of the anger has been
discovered, the individual must learn to accept it. This, of course, is not
easy and may take some time. Opening up to trusted friends, family, or
therapists can help with this.
Time for forgiveness.
After accepting the anger, it is
time to forgive one's self and others. Holding onto anger, no matter how deep
and painful it is, will always cause the most harm. Forgiving is a process and
requires a full release of the source of the anger. If the individual is still
angry after forgiving, then they have not truly forgiven them self. Forgiveness
can open up new feelings and cause a restorative power to the individual. This
is truly the pint of letting go and beginning a new positive journey. Once true
forgiveness has been made, the individual should embrace optimism, and fill any
void with positive thoughts and intentions.
Below is a great exercise to help an
addict overcome and let go of their anger. After completing each statement with
honesty, it may help to print it out and hang it in a visible place.
|
Complete these statements
·
In
order to become more optimistic, I need to get over this habit .....
·
In
order to become more hopeful, I need to overcome .....
·
In
order to become more happy and joyful, I must give up this
attitude .....
·
I
want to become more optimistic in life because .....
·
I
want to be more hopeful in life because .....
·
I
want to be more happy and joyful in life because .....
·
To
become more optimistic, I will .....
·
To
become more hopeful, I will .....
·
To
become more happy and joyful, I will .....
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Home is country’s premier organization for treatment of alcohol/drug problems,
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