RECOVERY SKILLS: LEARNING MONEY MANAGEMENT

Overspending and poor money management can lead to stress, and stress can lead to addiction relapse. Learn to manage your money wisely for a better chance at long-term recovery.

Addiction affects all aspects of life. Once you get sober and enter recovery, a lot of time is spent repairing the damage addiction has caused and learning how to live without drugs or alcohol, often for the first time. In recovery you learn how to change your thinking, improve your mood, engage in healthy habits, form healthy relationships, and take control of your life. Amidst all of this self-improvement it can be easy to overlook the importance of regaining practical life skills that contribute to a more balanced life — such as learning how to control your finances.

Addiction and Money : Drug addicts, alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, and those who suffer from any other addiction are notoriously bad with money. The addicted brain's motto is “I want what I want, and I want it now.” Often, addicts end up spending any cash that comes their way on feeding their addiction — sometimes to the point of serious financial distress, debt, and homelessness.

There is no reason to believe that once in recovery you will magically have money management skills that were seriously lacking at the peak of your drug addiction. No matter how good or bad you were at managing money before entering recovery, getting sober will change your financial situation – and you will need to change how you handle it.

Anyone recovering from addiction can benefit from learning about financial management, as well as the often-overlooked fact that money can be a relapse trigger.

Money as a Relapse Trigger:  One reason financial management skills are so important for recovering addicts is that money is one of the most common, but least talked about relapse triggers. When you manage money poorly it causes debt and stress - stress that can lead to relapse. Even if you are no longer spending money on your addiction, without proper skills to manage money, addicts often continue spending money recklessly. Having more money as a result of becoming sober can also be a trigger for relapse in itself. Having money can instill a false sense of security, create the urge to celebrate, and trigger thoughts of being able to afford your drug of choice.

For those in recovery, learning about financial management is just as much about relapse prevention as it is about reaping the benefits of being able to pay off debts, stress less, and save money.

How to Manage Money in Recovery : Taking responsibility for your financial situation is overwhelming. Shame and guilt about past irresponsibility can leave you feeling helpless as to where to start. First, you should have a plan for how you will deal with any emotions that come up as you start to look realistically at your finances. Ask someone you trust to help you as you begin to make a plan for managing money. Then, continue with the following:  Start a budget and track your spending. Learning the basics of budgeting, tracking, and saving is a good place to start - especially if managing money is something you have always struggled with. A budget is simply a record of the money you have coming in vs. your expenses. There are many online budgeting tools and resources available to help you get started.

Keeping a spending diary is a great way to see where your money goes and areas you can improve your spending habits. Write down every purchase and expense for at least a month. You may be surprised at how much money you actually spend on non-necessities such as coffee, gum or any impulse buys.

Separate needs and wants.The addicted brain is accustomed to instant gratification. Even when you stop spending money on your addiction, it will take more work for you to change your spending habits that are influenced by a desire for instant gratification.
In order to manage money well, you have to separate your wants from your needs. For example, you need to eat and you need the companionship of friends. You may want to go with a friend to a nice restaurant – but save some money and cook together at home instead.

Make a savings goal. Whether or not you lost a lot of money during the peak of your addiction, the fact is that addiction is expensive and now you will be able to save more. Paying off past debts and managing money so you live within your means is important, as is learning how to save.
Make a specific savings goal. If you know what you are saving for you will be less likely to spend extra money recklessly. Maybe you want to take a weekend vacation or make a larger purchase without going into debt. Write these goals down and remind yourself every day why you are trying to save money.

Avoid having and using an ATM or credit card. Even though debit and credit cards are common forms of payment, they are not for everyone! Especially in early recovery or if money is a strong trigger for you, it may be wise to limit your access to money. Having to physically withdraw money from the bank can be enough to make you think twice about it. You may even talk with your banker about setting up restrictions on your accounts, or consider storing money with a trusted parent or spouse.

Use available resources.There a many resources available to you to help with budgeting, banking, and saving. Just like anything in recovery, you do not have to manage your finances alone. Ask for support from people in your family, community, and support groups — you are not the only one who has struggled with or wanted to improve financial management skills.

Reap the Benefits of Good Financial Management   Getting a handle on your money is not just good for your bank account. When you have your budget under control, start to pay off debts and live within your means, it prevents stress from building up and is great for your journey to long-term recovery.

Always be aware of signs of relapse. Lingering shame and guilt, feeling overwhelmed, and spending money compulsively on shopping or gambling are all warning signs that you might be headed for relapse and should seek extra support.

(These articles are the sole property of “The Cabin Chiang Mai”, they are its original authors.)

OVERCOMING LONELINESS IN ADDICTION RECOVERY

After drug or alcohol rehab, those in recovery must build a new social support network, often from the ground up. This process is daunting and loneliness can creep in as you try to find the right support group, work on rebuilding relationships with family and friends, and weed out anyone who is detrimental to your hard earned addiction recovery.

But loneliness is more than a lack of companionship. Simply being alone does not always equal loneliness. Many people are seemingly alone, but do not feel lonely — just as many others will endure intense loneliness in a room full of people they know. Loneliness can be a pervasive and uncomfortable emotional state that persists despite being around others. While it is common to occasionally feel lonely in recovery, it should not be overlooked.

The Danger of Loneliness in Addiction Recovery: The root of loneliness is feeling a lack of connection to those around us. It is the strong feeling that you are separate or different from others that many people in addiction recovery experience. Loneliness is a complex experience, and if we look closely, buried under feelings of loneliness is often a sense of unworthiness. We struggle to connect because deep down we do not believe we deserve to. To truly overcome loneliness we have to look within ourselves as well as to outside companionship.

Loneliness is one of the most common addiction relapse triggers. It can lead to depression and anxiety, guilt and shame, social isolation, and ultimately relapse. In early addiction recovery, failure to make a new group of friends, combined with low self-esteem, can lead to intense loneliness which could make you question the value of life in recovery - a dangerous, slippery slope towards relapse.

Tips for Coping with Loneliness in Addiction Recovery:

Do not ignore feelings of loneliness! Ignoring loneliness can put you on the fast track to relapse. Instead, try these tips to overcome loneliness and strengthen your recovery:

Grieve the loss of addiction.

It may seem counterintuitive, but after achieving addiction recovery you lose your former best friend — your drug or addictive behaviour, plus everyone you associated with during your using days. Allowing yourself to grieve this loss will help you move forward and through the resulting loneliness.

Talk to someone about feeling lonely: The key here is not just talking to someone, but talking to someone about your feelings of loneliness. While calling a friend when you are lonely can be great, to really help alleviate the intensity of the feeling you need to talk to them about your loneliness.

See a therapist.

A therapist or counsellor can be someone you trust to talk to about uncomfortable feelings when they come up, such as loneliness. A counsellor will help you identify thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that are no longer serving you. They will support you and hold you accountable as you rebuild your life in recovery.

Volunteer

Volunteering will help you feel more connected to the world around you — combatting the sense of separateness – a main characteristic of loneliness. Whether it is at a local animal shelter or helping clean up the park, through volunteering you can meet new people and feel good about contributing to your community.

Join a support group.

Joining a recovery group after addiction treatment is always recommended. It may take time and regular attendance before you personally connect with someone, but attending a group will remind you that you are not alone in your addiction recovery.

Join a club or take a class.

Another great way to meet new people is through taking a class or joining a club. Fitness clubs offer a wide variety of classes from kickboxing to weight training. Whether it is yoga, cooking, art, or writing — many classes are available to help you re-discover your interests. You can even find special interest classes such as yoga specifically for people in addiction recovery!

Go online.

You can access many recovery networks online. While connections online should not replace real life social networks, they do offer an option for combating loneliness through recovery forums, reading about other people's stories, and pointing you in the right direction to find a support group in your area.

 Get a plant or pet.

Believe it or not, having house plants can help ward off loneliness. Keeping a plant alive puts you in touch with your greater connection to the world. Pets are also great companions, but only consider getting a pet if you know you can take on the responsibility. If you are up for the responsibility, pets can offer an unconditional love that will help immensely in warding off loneliness.

Practice mindfulness meditation.

An effective tool in addiction recovery, mindfulness meditation allows you to recognise your feelings as temporary thoughts, which in turn, reduces their power and effect over how they make you feel. Meditation takes repeated practice, but the positive benefits are worth the time for most people recovering from drug addiction.

Make amends.

Making amends can lead to rebuilding old relationships that are positive for your recovery. Even when it does not lead to that, making amends will help you gain confidence and feel connected to others. Be sure to learn the difference between an apology and making amends, and seek support from those who have made amends before you.

Learn to love yourself.

One important and effective way to combat loneliness is to learn to become your own best friend. Increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence will help you become more comfortable being alone, and will attract more positive people into your support network. And because often we feel separate from others because deep down we do not feel worthy of connection, this deep and underlying cause for loneliness can be overcome through working on building confidence and self-esteem.

Overcoming Loneliness with Patience

Regularly using drugs and alcohol acclimatises the user to experiencing instant gratification. Once in addiction recovery, former addicts often struggle to have patience with themselves and others. Social support is key to sustaining long term sobriety and overcoming loneliness, but also requires patience to develop. When you find yourself lonely, remember that forming close relationships in recovery takes time, but because loneliness is a strong trigger for relapse you should have a plan to cope with it. Take a deep breath and do something on the list above to take care of yourself.

(These articles are the sole property of “The Cabin Chiang Mai”, they are its original authors.)